Decide Suicide?

My heart goes out to all the families and victims of the Sandy Hook school. This poem is totally unrelated to that event, just happened to get published on the same day.

Decide Suicide?
14 December 2012

I tried my best to be good,
According to how I was taught,
In the way I understood,
Behaving as I ought.
That finally reached a point
Of diminishing positive returns.
My thinking became counterpoint
To considering suicide concerns.
Other people in my situation
Chose bringing to completion
An end of the aggravation
By despairing self-deletion.
My try resulted in a broken bone,
So I survived to live another day.
Slowly I got stronger on my own.
Now, I'm happily living my way.
I wear what pleases me.
Perhaps it's questionable
To the greater society,
But it makes me whole.
I think modesty is a false value
So there are holes in my clothes.
That might bring shame to you,
But men like that are my heroes.

Requiescat For Matt

My former roomate's brother collapsed at work, then died at the hospital.

Requiescat For Matt
17 November 2012

Like a blow that takes your breath away,
I just don't know what to say.
He died? Matt, your brother?
You're sure it was him and not some other?
Help me find a chair.
I'm fighting for air,
Descending into despair.
The world's gone mad, I swear.
It wasn't his turn to die,
He was younger than I.
Woe unto me!
How can this be?
There's a hole in my heart,
An absence on his part.
I'm perplexed,
What's next?
How can life go on
Now that he's gone?
Like a blow that takes your breath away,
I just don't know what to say.