When I first read this poem, it impacted me. On reflection, I wondered if it could be improved by rhyming.
When I Heard at the Coming of Twilight
14 January 2013
Original by Walt Whitman
When I heard with the coming of twilight
How my name had been received as luminary
In the capitol, still it was not a happy night
For me that followed; and else, when I made merry
Or when my plans were fully completed
Still I was not entirely glad.
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed
Of perfect health, refreshed, singing,
Drinking in all that was to be had
Of the ripe breath of autumn's bringing,
When I saw the full moon above the land
Grow pale and disappear in the morning light,
When I wandered alone over the seastrand
And undressing, bathed, laughing with delight
In the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought of how my dear friend,
My lover, was on his way, a prize,
Oh, then I was happy to no end.
Then each breath tasted much sweeter—
And all that day my food nourished
Me more—and the beautiful day passed fleeter,
And the next came equally flourished—
And with the next, at evening, ecstasy,
My friend came. Later as an underscore,
While all was still, I heard the sea
Roll slowly, continually up the shore.
I heard the hissing, rustling liquidly
Upon the sands, as directed to me, murmuring
To congratulate me, for the one I love avidly
Lay sleeping by me under the same covering.
In the cool of the night, without sound,
In the autumn moonbeams, his face was inclined
Towards me, and his arm lay lightly around
My breast—and that night was happiness enshrined.
When I heard at the Close of the Day
(No. 11, from ‘Calamus’ written circa 1859)
by Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
WHEN I heard at the close of the day how my name had been receiv'd
with plaudits in the capitol, still it was not a happy night
for me that follow'd;
And else, when I carous'd, or when my plans were accomplish'd, still
I was not happy;
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed of perfect health,
refresh'd, singing, inhaling the ripe breath of autumn,
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and disappear in the
morning light,
When I wander'd alone over the beach, and undressing, bathed,
laughing with the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my dear friend, my lover, was on his way
coming, O then I was happy;
O then each breath tasted sweeter—and all that day my food nourish'd
me more—and the beautiful day pass'd well,
And the next came with equal joy—and with the next, at evening, came
my friend;
And that night, while all was still, I heard the waters roll slowly
continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands, as directed to
me, whispering, to congratulate me,
For the one I love most lay sleeping by me under the same cover in
the cool night,
In the stillness, in the autumn moonbeams, his face was inclined
toward me,
And his arm lay lightly around my breast—and that night I was happy.
