Xenophobia Phobia

Xenophobia Phobia

2 October 2017

As I juggle my internal struggle,

Emotion says they’re strange.

Logic says it’s time to change.

It’s hard to predict my inner conflict.

One part gives an unalike sermon,

Another whispers we’re all human.

One idea that I wrestle

Is they’re not people to nestle,

Versus we’re all in the same vessel.

Eternally I grapple internally

With an urge of what I ought

Against all rational thought.

I have notions of conflicting emotions,

Of wishing others ill and harm

Or keeping them safe and warm.

By day and night, myself I fight;

Against impulse to ignore and deny

Hoping my better self comes by.

As I blunder, sometimes I wonder

If it’s innate, this instinct to hate

Or if I can overcome that trait.

Know Woe

Know Woe
6 May 2016

My commute was horrible.
People weren’t very nice.
The other drivers were terrible.
I almost got hit twice.
Traffic was the worst, wouldn’t you know,
The real possibility of a flat tire
In the miles and miles of slow and go
Just pushed my stress levels higher.
Arriving home, I promptly collapse.
Tomorrow’ll be another rat race.
I dream of retiring, perhaps.
My life needs a change of pace
And I’m in danger of a relapse.
Thinking, I don’t see any choice,
My life’s stalled, stuck in a rut.
Nothing makes my heart rejoice,
But I’m angry enough to kick butt.
Alas, I don’t know who’s butt to kick.
I want to feel better, that’s for sure.
All this stress is making me sick.
Tonight I’ll make alcohol my cure.
One immediate affect of drinking
Is a change in mood and thinking.
So as to not borrow sorrow,
I’ll think about tomorrow tomorrow.

Vegas Ruckus

Vegas Ruckus
29 March 2016

The bewildered look on my face
Says I’m not in Kansas anymore.
I’m feeling so out of place,
Where there’s sinning galore.
They told me Vegas would be fun,
But here I’m feeling overcome.
Out on the street there’s too much sun.
Where did all these people come from?
It’s effin’ easy to be overrun.
Everything here’s so much bigger.
It’s really way over the top.
It’s all too much for my vigor.
Let me go home or make it all stop.

No Fooling, Final Ruling

No Fooling, Final Ruling
27 June 2015

Any lesbian or queer fairy
Has a legal right to marry.
This bitter debate hasn’t cooled,
But the Supreme Court has ruled.
We get to count as people, too;
And merit just the same as you.
To me it seems that no one boasts,
Only rejoices in their online posts.
The affirmed sense of pride
And worthiness I have inside
Heightens the way that I feel
To make my love seem more real.

Decide Suicide?

My heart goes out to all the families and victims of the Sandy Hook school. This poem is totally unrelated to that event, just happened to get published on the same day.

Decide Suicide?
14 December 2012

I tried my best to be good,
According to how I was taught,
In the way I understood,
Behaving as I ought.
That finally reached a point
Of diminishing positive returns.
My thinking became counterpoint
To considering suicide concerns.
Other people in my situation
Chose bringing to completion
An end of the aggravation
By despairing self-deletion.
My try resulted in a broken bone,
So I survived to live another day.
Slowly I got stronger on my own.
Now, I'm happily living my way.
I wear what pleases me.
Perhaps it's questionable
To the greater society,
But it makes me whole.
I think modesty is a false value
So there are holes in my clothes.
That might bring shame to you,
But men like that are my heroes.