Slinging Mud At A Blue Blood

Slinging Mud At A Blue Blood
2 April 2012
Imagine this as a pub drinking song.

Beat the tambourine:
"God save the Queen!"
If you know what I mean.

I don't have a penny to own
So let's throw her a bone
As she sits on the throne.
This year's her Diamond Jubilee
So let's celebrate like she's family
And we all have the same pedigree.
Beat the tambourine:
"God save the Queen!"
If you know what I mean.

You know, she's barely begun.
After all, the Queen Mum
Lived to a hundred and one!
We can act like aristocrats
All dressed up in hats
Living like fat cats.
It's a chance to preen
And say what we mean
By "God save the queen."

Brief Relief

Brief Relief

16 Sept 2010

An American tourist

While visiting England

Decided to resist

Staying with the rest and

Strike out from the tour

To become his own chauffeur,

To taste the local culture

According to his own flavor.

At a nearby pub

He got a chance to rub

Elbows and his sample

Of drinks was very ample.

Later he finds himself on a road

The result of his over drinking

With no place to unload,

He turns to desperate thinking.

Fortunately for our veteran

He runs into a policeman.

“I have an urge I’m trying to beat.

Of all the houses with heirlooms

On this open public street

I don’t see any restrooms.”

“Follow me and I will show

A convenient place for you to go.”

Down a back alley, the small gate

Opened on a very well-appointed place

As beautiful as any he could relate

And the blooms looked ready for a vase.

After making the plants and grass wetter

He felt relieved and so much better.

“Thanks for letting me inside

And pass by with your pardon.”

“My pleasure,” the bobby replied,

“It’s the French Embassy’s garden.”